His domination of me was subtle in its approach, so subtle that I didn't even realise he was doing it. He explained everything I had done in the past and everything I was doing now with him in terms of my natural submissiveness. He arranged every aspect of our relationship such that it was MY choice to continue every time.The morning after my anal deflowering, I woke up in a kind of daze…my mind confused. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and savour the memories of the night before. But I knew I had to get up because I needed to renew my work permit or I would have to leave the country…and that would mean the end of Renaud and me.So I dragged myself into the shower, quickly dressed and ran to catch the bus to the main village. I was sitting on the bus daydreaming when I suddenly realised that I was naked under my dress. In my haste I hadn't even thought to put any panties on. My next thought made me wake up completely; I had been fucked in the ass! At that point it didn't matter in. I was looking for a connection. I was looking for other people who I could share that same connection with. If I couldn’t find one, then Jennifer was truly a unique soulmate. Stephanie was a very different thing because I could never marry her or have children with her. I needed someone else with the connection.But if that was the case, why did I need to keep looking. I had Jennifer. I didn’t need to keep looking. It made no sense. And then a single word popped into my brain — Birgit. I had thought she was my life partner, and Fate had taken her from me. If Fate took Jennifer away, who would I have?Joyce suddenly became second best, something to settle for. And I realized that, somehow, Joyce knew it. I would be looking for someone who I had a connection with. I didn’t have one with her. Oh, I could marry her and probably be very happy, but she was right — I’d keep trying to find someone with the connection.With Jennifer, the connection didn’t show up until we made love the first.
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